Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
