The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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