What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
soo... how was my night?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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