i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
