How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize