sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
