And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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