You're so nebulous sometimes
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
