She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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