dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
