Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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