I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
