So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
