No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
