my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
well you can't waste a boner
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
