I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
3pm strippers are depressing
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
