shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
