this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
