Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize