I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
