I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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