My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
