K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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