we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
