I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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