what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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