Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i love accidental penises.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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