Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
