Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
