what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
