i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
