Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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