You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
