good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
