I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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