now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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