I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize