even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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