Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
