i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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