Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
