what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize