Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
