So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just invented taco cereal.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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