Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
