Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
