I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize