Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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