seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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