I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
