That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
