No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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