she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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