i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
