i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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