Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
