I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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