Plan B is the new Plan A
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
