I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
