I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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