i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
