There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
