I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
