It's like a parade of train wrecks.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
